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Growing Awareness and inflating disaster!

With various other challenges in this new computer era, one of the perpetual debates under discussion is the woman of our society today and the growing awareness amongst her. As we see the divorce rates getting higher and people becoming more receptive to these ‘pinching facts’, it does give an invitation to the thought process. Education has been a great help to women for knowing their capabilities, their rights and to enable them to choose what they think is right for themselves. More and more women are getting equipped with this tool and the race seems to have started a long time back. It is indeed a very positive step for building a healthier society but it appears that along with the package, comes a very alarming situation where breaking up of the families is becoming common across the nation. East, though deprived of a lot that the west enjoys, has always had an upper hand in what it called was its ‘traditions and norms’. It is no secret that with all the negativities of our society aside, we have always been far more family oriented and great preachers of family unification, compared to the west. What is beginning to get disturbing is the fact that the awareness in our society is having diverse effects. Career that was in one time, least important for a woman is now her most passionate goal and a priority higher than that of the family. Loyalties are being reallocated from homes to offices. Women have lost their tolerance and men are wilder than before. Most importantly, there is a huge gap between a husband and a wife. Its no more than a mere contract in true sense of the word.

" I have seen in the past that women were bound to be with their husbands irrespective of what they felt. Even if their married life was shattered, separation was the last solution they could think of. This earned them nothing else but unhappiness," says Rida Ali, a member of the Corporate World who believes that awareness amongst women has helped them have an identity of their own and they are less subjected to the brutal tortures by men. " They think their career is all what life is about or for that matter, their own social life is not above all. We have a career too but we don’t forget our family life and responsibilities. We give them love, we give them respect, we give them all that we can; all that they wish for. We provide them with luxuries of life. We sponsor everything from food till the child’s education and all her make-up kits. We provide them with a house. All we ask in return is for a ‘home’," says Murtaza Ali, a Chartered Accountant working with a Multinational in Pakistan. What’s the difference between a house and a home? A house is a shelter made of material to protect you and your family from cold rain and heat. A home has a much broader meaning. It’s another world within the boundaries of those four walls that you call a house. It’s a world filled with love, affection, sincerity, concern and unity. What’s beginning to be a cause for concern is the fact that we have started living for ourselves. Self-interests and personal desires are taking us to a road of no end and no return.

For everything in life, there is a broad line that should be kept in site. It does of course matter that we all come from different school of thoughts. For a lot of people, my opinion would be that of a conservative, old fashioned, paranoid male. For others, it could be a realistic approach to see reality. The first thing we need to do is to set our priorities right. If money, wealth, status, independence and career is all what leads your list of priorities, then maybe you should have a different approach all together to lead a life. The debate as to whom amongst the two partners is right or wrong remains a debate forever. Of course both have something to add to this but that doesn’t solve the problem. Why can’t we devote a few minutes at the end of the day to analyze ourselves and see where we went wrong? Everything is clear. We all know what facts are but we just don’t want to accept. We run away from the realities of life and seek shelter in those fake consolations that we give ourselves incase something goes wrong. Admitting faults is the last thing we do and this is what happens now. Compromising is the key to success in a married life. For a man to think that he owns a woman is absolutely ridiculous. She should be given a right to choose within certain parameters and her decisions should be respected. He should accept that she does have an identity of her own and he can not treat her like a car; Drive her the way he wants! Women on the other hand have gone far beyond in their race to get their rights. In their effort to have an identity of their own, they have now started compromising on what was once the most valuable to them, their husbands. As a result, husbands tend to have lost their faith in what appeared as the last yet most valuable resort, their wife! I have known men, who could be an ideal example of a devil in shape of men, but none of them tolerates a word against their wives, for no matter what it is, she has a special place. It looks like a war where both of them refuse to give up.

The need for a better family life can not be ignored at this point and time. Irrespective of our sexes, we are all humans. Humans who are liable to commit mistakes and mistakes are made to be forgiven. A little bit of understanding, some quantity of compromise, a certain amount of love and obvious amount of respect is all we need for the recipe of a healthy relationship. Balance should be kept and priorities should be set. There is nothing more you need. Trust me, if you have the best job in the world, the best circle of friends, loads of money, good car, ideal house and all you lack is a loving family, then there is nothing that you have!


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