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We all as human beings possess a
certain point of view and a way to analyze things. They are both dependent
on what we call is our social circle, surroundings, exposure to life,
literary level and ‘trends’ set by our society. With all these factors, age
has a major sway too. As we walk ahead with each day of life, we discover
that things that were important to us years back are now least imperative.
The meaning of life, the reasons of being, the ideas of existence, the means
of survival and connotation of reality all change with a superior epoch in
life. With such major changes, we also come across what we call is a
structural change in thinking which revolves around the way little things in
our lives vary in their intensity, importance and significance. It is very
important for us to be subject to such changes because a failure to do so
could result in an inappropriate persona. Thus the development of a man and
his individuality courtesy the course of time is very important in order to
open the paths of success. However there are individuals, who are not very
open to such changes in their lives and to them, meaning of life and idea of
victory is different. As I mentioned earlier, this is with respect to their
surroundings, which enables them to develop thinking reflecting an insight
of their nature. I have met couple of people coming from the same house
though, with different school of thoughts. In my humble opinion, the
development of a character, apart from all the above-mentioned criteria is
also based on self-conscience of a person, which comes from within him or
her. If there were an absence of realization and lack of ability to
differentiate between right and wrong, nice and bad, polite and rude, the
person would have different ideas and measure of success.
I remember how my dear Ol`friend Omar and me once fought over a
little issue, which I feel embarrassed even mentioning. I was a 14-year old
lad to whom the meaning of success and victory was none other than the
community of my age. The one who apologized in my sight then, was a loser
and was the person at fault. Asking for an apology from someone you had a
fight with was most ‘looked down upon’ thing for us as kids until I learned
from my dad that apologizing wouldn’t make me any less superior. Rather
apologizing was one of the most beautiful gestures that one could posses. As
much as I hated then to apologize and before I could go against my wishes to
do so, Omar came and made it up to me. At that arena of life, I felt as if I
had won this self-proclaimed war, as I was the one being apologized too. To
my surprise, in the years to follow, when I thought about this, I realized
how much I felt Omar being greater to me. His gesture of being the first one
to act contrite and to resolve the issue was a beautiful one in its own way.
It was strange. I was the same person! Yet years back what I thought was my
success had turned out to be my failure as I was constrained by my ego not
to be remorseful about the issue. Yet Omar with his diminutive act was at
triumph. That’s what I call is the idea of Victory.
I was going through a strange dilemma of feeling weird yet
wonderful, creepy yet amazing, bizarre yet magnificent. The feeling being
distinct and inimitable. These mixed emotions were a consequence of the
direct change in what is called is a jump from one stage of life to another.
From a boy to a man, things appeared way to differently; The importance of
these things being more in some and less in several cases. Sanctity,
sacredness and balance of relationships for example was one of those things
that were much more meaningful and important in life now than they were
years back. On contrary, wasting time on TV shows, spending hours endlessly
on computer and slaying moments on telephone calls were least essential.
However the change in priorities of life was not as astonishing as the
revolutionary distinction between various ideas of victory.
The irony that exists today in our society is that people even at
their later stages of life do not tend to change their thinking. To them,
the perception of achievement revolves around the very concept of a victory
in a practical war. In their opinion, being rude in arguments, physical in
sensitive issues and arrogant in matters of mutual agreement is how they can
achieve their goal. It disgusts me to see people of 40 years of age fighting
physically on roadsides just over some issue as small as an unintentional
car accident. I was driving down towards the main city of Lahore once, when
I came across this eye-opening confrontation of two individuals over some
little car collision where fortunately, both the drives were safe and sound,
and with least apparent loss to their vehicles. The worst part of this
situation was the way these two gray-headed men were dealing with the
matter. Sitting on the driving seat of a car, stuck in the middle of a large
traffic jam, I couldn’t really conclude as to what words exactly were these
two men exchanging. However with my little intelligence, I could at least
see one of these men screaming, with his evident ‘public’ manners being
portrayed in the center of the massive crowd. I parked my car on the
roadside, not with the intentions to be a part of the crowd and get pleasure
from the ‘show’ rather to see if I could be of any help on that hot summer
afternoon. Reaching exactly on the spot, I realized that it would take my
entire strength to make my way to the two men as there were surrounded by
chunks of passersby. At that very moment however, I noticed one of these
concerned men who to me appeared in his late 60s, was standing quietly while
the other one in his early 40s was being the ‘man of significance,’ having
being as loud as he could be. I, at that instant was only a spectator but
felt as low as if I was responsible for this awful act. I felt like moving
ahead but before I could do so, I heard that ‘quiet old man’ saying just
three words… “I am sorry.”
Meanwhile, a police sergeant appeared from somewhere within the crowd and
started to dismantle the gigantic force around the two men. Everyone moved
back on their own ways and so did I. While going towards my car, I heard a
group of men laughing and making fun of that old man. “Muahahahahahaha… The
old man was scared. He started seeking forgiveness. What a loser!!
ahahahahaha” Saying that I was distressed by the way these people thought,
would be putting it too mildly. With due respect for my citizens and immense
patriotism aside, I was disgusted with their thoughts! I knew however, who
amongst those two men was actually at victory!
I got into my car to drive to my destination. My hands were on the
steering, my feet on the accelerator, yet my mind still there. I thought of
all this. The men involved, the spectators and even the commentators were
all grown up men yet the way all this was handled and reacted to was odd.
Engulfed in my deep thoughts, I reached at an uncle’s place whose
14-year-old son was apologizing to his sister for not having given her a
share from the packet of chips he just ate. His sister smiled at this humble
act of realization. I was glad too, but that day I discovered a new
phenomenon... I saw a 14-year-old man and a 40-year-old kid. |
